Looking Leaner and a Smidge Meaner
by jmor-hearts
Summary: It had been years since I cried for the family that left me in the woods,and it had been years since I had become a vampire.Yes,thats right, I,Bella Swan was a vampire,and not the vegetarian kind.How will the Cullens react when they see her again.
1. So much for Moving On

It had been years since I had seen the family that ripped my heart out and drug it through

dirt, it had been years since I last cried over them, and it had been years since I had been changed into one of them. Yes, that's right, I, Bella Swan, am a vampire…and you know what? I'm a damn good one. I decided that it was time I told my story; recent events have caused me to feel the need to finally open up and spill the beans…so to say. I know everyone is dying to know if I'm back with the Cullens, but I'm not ready to talk about that yet. For you all to understand where I am today, you need to know about all the things that have happened to me since the Cullens left. I'll warn you, this isn't a pretty story. I didn't go through the change with ease, and I had a few slip ups. I'm not writing this story to give you all warm fuzzies, I'm writing this story to entertain and inform you. I hope that reading about my trials and tribulations might help someone else out there, and that's all I really want is to help other people. I'll also let you know that I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity, I've felt plenty of pity for myself and it didn't do me any good.

I guess the best place to start would be at the beginning, isn't that where all good stories begin? Ha…Well, on with the beginning then. Everyone knows about my relationship with Edward. You all know about the love, the danger, and the fact that he left me standing alone in the forest completely broken. Everyone know about that right? Okay, after Edward left I started doing things that were a little….one could say….dangerous. Part of me desired to hear the voice that only came to me when I was doing something reckless, and part of me wanted to make him feel terrible for what he did. I had it in the back of my mind that he did still love me, and that if he got word that I had been hurt he would never forgive himself, I know it's a little melodramatic of me, but I wanted him to hurt as bad as I was. The day my life took a turn, for the different, I was searching for our meadow. I had been lost in the dense green forest for what felt like hours. The knees of my jeans were soiled with dirt from how many times I tripped over stumps and rocks, and my hands were bloodied and scraped from catching myself as I fell. I was damp and disheartened. I thought I knew where I was going, but obviously I didn't and I was utterly lost. I wanted to cry.

This search wasn't supposed to leave me feeling this way; I was hoping to get some closure, but being lost in the woods just made me feel more alone. I decided to take a break and I sat down on a big rock that was covered in a dense moss and pulled a water bottle out of my backpack, at least I had been smart enough to bring some food and water. The cool water soothed the burning sensation in my throat and I wondered if this is what it felt like to thirst for blood, I concluded that it probably wasn't even close. As I sat on the rock stretching my sore muscles I got the eerie feeling that someone was watching me, you know when all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you become super alert, yeah, that's the feeling. I turned to the left, nothing but miles and miles of green. So I turned to the right and my breath caught in my throat. About 3 inches from my face was a face. The face had the whitest teeth I had ever seen, smooth skin that I could imagine existing, and blood red eyes.

"Hello sweet Bella" purred Laurent.

He walked around to stand in front of me, he looked much like he had the last time I saw him. He was wearing the same tattered jacket that he had been wearing that day, and his hair was still in dread locks, he was still pale and beautiful…but something about him looked different. The look in his eyes was different but I couldn't tell what was off about it. I must have stared at him for a while because he picked up on my puzzled expression.

"Something wrong?" he asked tilting his head to the side as a cat might do when it's feeling a little confused.

"I…Uh…Nothing." Was the pathetic reply I managed to squeak out.

"I see you're a little shocked" he smirked. HA. Understatement of the year!

"Just a little" I whispered.

Just a little might have been the biggest lie I had ever told. I didn't really understand why Laurent was still here, hadn't the Cullens made sure the land was vamp free before they left me unprotected?

"Just a little, mmm…" he stated, he seemed to get lost in thought as he began walking in a circle around me, "Why are you out here all alone Miss Bella? Where is your protector?"

He seemed to sneer the last word out. Well it looks like I now knew why he was here, it didn't take a rocket scientist to interpret the vibes he was giving off. He despised the Cullens, I just didn't understand why.

"Good question." I replied. "I haven't seen any of them in weeks." I don't know what made me tell him, I guess it was my own little death wish that I was signing. If he knew that the Cullens weren't here he I was as good as dead, but now that I look back I'm glad I told him. I mean undead is better than dead right? "Do you mean that the Cullens have left you dear?" he purred into my ear. I shuddered partly from his cold sweet smelling breath on my neck and partly because I was being forced to remember that the Cullens had left me. "Yes, they left" I whimpered and began to sob. I suddenly felt a cool hand on my shoulder, and I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort from this simple gesture. I collapsed into Laurent's chest and cried for a very long time. I could tell from the way his body stiffened underneath me that he was not expecting me to do that. It is kind of funny if you think about it, I was sure he was just about to drain me dry, and yet he was letting me cry on his chest. At least he was a compassionate vampire. Needless to say, I cried a lot. I cried for myself, I cried for the Cullens, and I cried for Charlie. I was sure at this point that Laurent wasn't going to let me go. I just hoped that Charlie wasn't the one who had to find my body.

I cried and cried and cried, I only stopped when I heard a twig snap not far away. I looked up suddenly, whipping the tears from my eyes and the snot from my nose, and wouldn't you know, there was the other vamp I that I was sure would have a hand in my untimely demise, the moody red head herself not 5 feet away. She didn't look too pleased to see me….which just made me feel even more sure that my life was about to end. Laurent stood up and walked to Victoria leaving me alone again. I watched as he spoke to her so quite that I couldn't make out what he was saying, but I was sure she heard every word. Stupid vampires and their stupid abilities, ugh. They kept looking over at me, which made me very uncomfortable, and for half a second I considered running for it, but I knew it would only make it worse for me. I was so angry in this moment. How could Edward have left me here alone knowing that these two bottom feeders were still lurking around in the shadows? He really must not care an ounce about me, and that realization ripped the thin scab that had formed over the hole in my heart right off. I sat and cried, while the two vampires that held my life in their hands discussed how they were going to drain my blood from my body.

I watched them as they talked. Their movements were so graceful, and even though I knew how evil they were I couldn't help but be mesmerized by their beauty. They were the ultimate predator, Edward had said that to me once…he had said that he was the ultimate predator, but I had never believed him. I did now, watching the beautiful movements of the two vampires that were about to kill me made me actually want to be close to them, weird I know. Victoria looked at me and smiled, it wasn't smile of hatred, or a smile that said "I'm about to suck your blood." It was a smile that was full of menace. I had seen that smile before, once Alice had done it right before she forced me into a chair and put highlights into my hair. Ugh…I shuddered thinking about how bad that stuff had burned my scalp…

"Bella" the soft voice snapped me back to reality. "Bella love" Victoria smiled as she walked towards me, "I am sure you aren't a stupid girl, you know what is coming don't you…"

I shock my head, to scared to talk.

"Well I have a surprise for you," she smiled clasping her hands in front of her in shear joy…and I awaited to hear what she had planned for me.


	2. Sweet Revenge

**This is my first Fanfic…so bear with me as I try my hand at this, I promise I'll get better and the stories will get longer as I go. Please review and give me pointers! Thanks! Enjoy.**

**I own nothing…**

She had a surprise for me? I couldn't imagine what that might be, I mean, I was sure she was trying to kill me. Why in the world would she want to do anything other than that? The family that I was a "part" of was responsible for ending the life of one of her coven members, and I was sure that she didn't want to do something nice to me after that. I was a smart girl, regardless of the fact that Edward didn't think I was able minded enough to make decisions for myself, I was intelligent. That intelligence is the reason that I was sure this was some kind of a trap…I knew that there was going to be some kind of a catch to the surprise she was going to offer me. I looked up at her red eyes after several minuets of being lost in thought. She was just staring at me, a gleam of joy with a little menace mixed in. She had something up her sleeve, I was sure of it.

"What would that be?" I finally managed to choke out, trying to sound much more confident then I felt.

She glanced at Laurent, the look in her eyes was almost as if she was asking him a question. Her red curls rippled down her shoulders as she turned her whole body back towards me, the look of question in her eyes was replaced by a look of determination.

"I'm going to change you." She replied curtly. The corners of her mouth turned up into a smile as she said this to me. Her pearly white teeth now held a different meaning, they were no longer the thing that made her smile beautiful, they were what was going to change my life for forever.

I couldn't think of anything to say to her, I couldn't even move. I was scared, excited, mortified, disgusted, and happy all at the same time and I felt like I was going to hurl. I must have turned a little green because both of their faces flashed a look of concern that was almost too quick to notice.

"Bella" Laurent said, a hint of worry in his voice "this isn't meant to upset you, really, we were going to give this gift to you as a sort of a peace offering."

I didn't get it, what did they have to make peace with me for. They hadn't done anything to me…I mean, I guess James had tried to kill me, but that wasn't a group decision, it seemed to me that he had made that choice all on his own, so what business did they have in offering me peace. This just seemed odd to me, and you know the old phrase "Curiosity killed the Cat"….well you can imagine my next move.

"What do you mean? Why would you want to change me? I…I thought for sure you were just going to kill me and move on, to get even with the Cullens…am I totally out in left field on this whole subject, or is there some unwritten vampire code that I don't know about?"

After I said this I could have jumped up off of that rock and kicked myself. They were offering me something other than death, who was I to question it. I had wanted to be a vampire so bad when Edward had been around, I had wanted nothing more than to spend eternity with him, but he was always too scared for my soul to ever change me. He had always been so overly protective of me…it had been very frustrating. But here I was being offered what I had desired for so long, and I was questioning it. I guess I should have won a Darwin award for that! But, enough of my little rant, back to the story.

Soon after the dumbest questions of the centaury were I asked I managed to get a grip and look back at Victoria and Laurent, the smiles on my face let me know that I had asked just the question they expected me to ask, they seemed all to eager to answer me.

"Oh, Bella. You aren't out in left field, you are actually so close to the truth that you might as well have hit the nail on the head. We're offering you peace because we need your help in order to get even with the prodical son, Edward, we just need to ask you one question." Laurent smiled at me while he said this and that just confused me more, for being such a smart girl, I was feeling pretty stupid right about now.

"Bella" Victoria said sweetly, "I'm going to ask you and I would like you to answer very honestly." I nodded in reply and she moved closer to me.

As she prepared to ask the question she knelt before me and took my sweaty bloody hands in her cold hard ones and stared intently into my eyes.

"Did you ever ask Edward to change you?"

The question startled me a bit. I had just been thinking about that. I wondered if one of them had an ability that I didn't know about.

"Well did you?" she inched closer to me, the eagerness in her face was so intense that it made me giggle a little. She looked like a little kid that was sitting in front of a pile of Christmas presents and was just waiting for the go ahead from his parents.

"Yes, I asked him, but he always told me no. He said he wasn't going to damn my soul." Wow, more with the gut spilling. I was surprising myself with how much I was willing to tell these two, but for some reason I just felt very comfortable with them right now. I knew that I should be terrified, I knew that the moment I had sensed someone watching me I should have made a run for it, but something was drawing me to them. I had a gut feeling that the deal they were offering me was too good to pass up. I knew that I should have been thinking about this more carefully, and that I should be thinking about all I was giving up, but the though of being one of them was so intoxicating.

Victoria cheered with glee. "Bella this is perfect. Oh I love when things just fall into my lap like this!" She was giddy with excitement. "How does the thought of doing the one thing that Edward would have hated you to do sound to you?" She asked eager for an answer.

The thought of being everything that Edward didn't want me to be felt good. It felt like I would be getting my own little revenge on him. It's like when your parents say, "No you cant get that tattoo." And all you can think about for days is getting it, and you finally do, but you get it somewhere they will never see…it was that kind of feeling. I felt that if I was changed and he found out he would feel so guilty, and that thought made me feel giddy inside, and then it hit me.

"You want to change me to get even with Edward, don't you?" I asked looking at both of them.

"You are a smart girl." Victoria said to me as she brushed a piece of hair back from my face. "Doesn't it sound fun? I mean, not to hurt your feelings or anything, but he left you…wouldn't it feel great to get even." Her smirk was very bewitching and I found myself lost in the thought of all of the things I would do and all of the adventures I would have and all of the pain it would cause him when he found out that him leaving had caused exactly what he had tried to avoid. I wanted so badly to see the look on his face, to see the look on all of the Cullens faces when they saw me. It would be so empowering for them to see that I could do it without them, that I didn't need them to get what I wanted. After I ran though about 34 different scenarios of what the reunion would be like, I was practically jumping with excitement.

Now quick side not before I continue, I know a lot of you are going to think, "How selfish, didn't she think about Charlie or Renee?" Well just so you know…I did think about them, but this decision was mine to make, not theirs and I wanted this. I wanted this desperately. I couldn't go on living the way that I was, something had to change and this just seemed like the golden opportunity. I probably should have stopped and considered what I was doing a little bit better before I acted upon it, but you will eventually find out that me getting changed was the only thing that kept both of my parents alive…but let's not get ahead of ourselves….back to the forest. Where were we…oh yes, jumping with excitement…

"When will he find out that I've been changed?" I asked so excited that I could hardly sit still. This was the happiest I had been since they left. I was sick and tired of sitting in my room sulking over my long lost love. I wanted to get even, and what better way to get even than do the one thing that he would have rather left me than do….it was a brilliant plan.

"Soon, love." Laurent answered my question, the excitement on their faces matched mine.

"Bella, I'm glad we are going to give this little plan a shot…it's going to be much more satisfying for him to know that he wasn't the one that got to change his precious, than to have simply killed you. This way he is going to have to pay for his sins for the rest of eternity." Victoria rubbed circles on my hands with her thumbs as she stood. I leapt up off of the rock I had been sitting on so eager to get going that I couldn't keep my feet still. This was going to be the best revenge ever. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face.

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	3. BadAss Bella

**A special thanks go out to my bff Rayven, thanks for agreeing to read my story for me and a special thanks to my LOVELY beta **_**Marie Clause **_**You both rock! And thanks to everyone that added me to their favorites list! I was smiling sooo big when I saw how many had! You all are awesome! Enjoy!**

**I own nothing….**

**Chapter 3 **

So, not much happened from the time I left to the time the actually decided to change me, so I won't bore you with the gory details. Pretty much they decided that we needed to leave that day. I wasn't allowed to go home and get anything because they didn't want me to accidently run into Charlie. Which, I guess made sense in their eyes. They didn't know that seeing Charlie wouldn't make me want this any less, my mind was made up and nothing was going to change it at this point. I do wish that I had gotten to say goodbye…but it doesn't really matter that I didn't get to…but I don't want to get ahead of myself. Victoria and Laurent decided that it would be best to go into Canada to change me. They said something about a werewolf, which is silly, but I didn't want to upset them by insisting they change me instantly, I was afraid that if I protested they would decide against this plan, so I kept my mouth shut.

We left pretty quickly after they decided to go to Canada. They insisted that they carry me so that we could make better time, and I couldn't argue…my incessant falling would have slowed them down quite a bit so I didn't beg to walk or anything. Laurent wasn't as gentle with me as Edward was. He didn't seem to mind if a twig or two cut me across the face. He didn't hold onto me like I would break either, he had a death grip on my thighs and I was sure I would bruise. The first night we made it just outside of the border to Canada. They only stopped because I was falling asleep on Laurent's back and I kept sliding off. Once he had caught me, but he grabbed my wrist so hard that I was almost positive that it was fractured, but it would heal itself in the changing process so I didn't bring it up. We made camp in a small cave that night…which, as you can imagine, was frigid, they hadn't had much to do with humans in a very long time, so they didn't quite get that I was freezing my ass off. They kept asking me what was wrong when my shivers turned from quiet tremors to convulsions. They eventually caught wind of what the problem was and built a small fire. There was a town nearby so they decided to run and get a few things while I tried to sleep. They returned shortly after leaving. Victoria had gotten me some basic things: a toothbrush, a few changes of clothes, some blankets, and a bunch of junk food. She said she didn't know what I would like so, she just grabbed what she thought might look good. Laurent had grabbed me a dozen or so bottles of water, I drank and ate greedily. I had forgotten that I was hungry and thirsty, but at the sight of it all my intense pains for food resurfaced. Victoria commented on the amount of food I was eating and decided that they needed to change me quickly or I would eat them out of house and home. They thought that was quite funny and laughed for a while. I on the other hand wasn't amused at being the butt of their joke.

That first night was defiantly the hardest. I was starting to miss my bed, I was defiantly missing central heat, and I was having second thoughts. Did I really want to get revenge this way, was I willing to give up my humanity to prove to some pig headed boy that he was wrong to leave me…but every time those thoughts crossed my mind I remembered why I had decided to do this. I did want to teach him a lesson. It's not in my nature to be a spiteful revenge driven person, but I wanted so badly to get even. Edward wasn't just a normal ex who decided to move on to bigger and better things…he was more than that…he had been my reason for living, he had been the blood pumping through my veins and he had been the air I breathed, those feelings of mine hadn't been a secret to him…he knew just how I felt for him and he still decided to treat me like a piece of trash. He didn't even have the decency to make sure that I made it home okay.

I usually tried not to think about the night that he left me because I knew the emotions that would cause in me. I would be a mess. I was alone in the cave because Victoria and Laurent were trying to give me peace and quite while I slept. They had also figured out that I was significantly warmer when they weren't in the cave cooling it down with their unnaturally low body temperatures. They were off hunting somewhere, which I didn't really want to think about, so I let my mind wander, and of course it found its way to the most painful memory it could muster.

He had told me that he didn't want me. He had said that I wasn't good enough for him, and he had said I was a distraction. He ripped away all of the strings that were holding my heart in place and he dropped them on the damp forest floor. He just watched me emotionally break down and didn't so much as apologize, and then he just walked away. I ran after him, because I was stupid and blinded by his false love for me. I ran until my sides burned, I ran until my lungs ached for the breath that would never really come again because it had just left me, and I ran until my tears no longer fell. I collapsed onto the ground and waited to be taken away. My body was desperate for him. I physically ached for his touch. I screamed while I was alone in the forest. It was the worst pain I had ever felt.

Tears were falling freely down my cheeks now, hair was stuck to my damp face, and my nose was stopped up. In this moment I was alone…and that realization caused something in me to snap. I was no longer going to let that boy rule my life. I wasn't going to let Laurent and Victoria change me to get even with Edward, I was going to let them change me because that is what I wanted. I wasn't going to let Edward make me cry anymore. If he no longer felt any type of compassion and love for me, then he could consider the feeling mutual. I was done doing things for him, I was done dressing pretty for Alice, and I was done living for other people. This was my life and I was going to do with it what I damn well pleased to do. Sure, me getting changed into the one thing that I knew Edward would have hated would piss him off, but this was no longer about pissing him off. It was about doing what I wanted because I wanted it.

I felt so powerful now and the feeling was intoxicating. I was going to come out of this stronger, better, and happier than I had ever been in my human life. I pitied the poor Cullens in they ever ran into me after this, because the shy little Bella that they once knew wasn't going to exist any more. I was going to be badder, meaner, and better than any vamp the world had ever known.

I was ready, and I couldn't wait any longer.

I wrapped myself in blankets and went to sit outside the cave, I was going to wait for them to come back, and demand they change me tonight. I didn't have to wait very long…my feet were just beginning to go numb when I saw the red head step into the clearing.

"Bella, what are you doing? It's freezing…I guess….shouldn't you be inside trying stay warm?" Her fake sincerity made me smile.

"I want you to change me now." I said…I figured getting right to the point would be the best option…

"Oh." The look of surprise evident on her face, "I thought we had decided we were going to wait until we were a bit safer to do this, you know you wont be in any condition to move while the changing is going on."

"Oh I know, I think we're perfectly safe right here, and I'm ready to do this."

"Well, let's wait until Laurent get's back and see what he says."

The fact that she was fighting me so hard was striking me as odd, but I didn't think too terribly much into it. I just wanted her to go ahead and do it already, so I was going to make it happen. The new bad ass Bella was finally going to get to come out and play.

"No." I said smirking at the look of shock that crossed over her face. "You will do it now, or I will refuse to eat and drink until you do it."

I felt like that was a pretty good threat. They needed me to be healthy or the change wouldn't happen as easily, and in order to be healthy they needed me to eat and drink.

"Bella, just wait another couple of days…there is a reason I don't want to do it yet." She was pleading with me at this point…begging me not to make a fuss…I knew something was up, and it was something big.

"Change me now…or I'll scream." Ding, Ding, Ding, we had a winner….the threat hit the nail on the head and the look of defeat that crossed her face was GLORIOUS!

She just looked at me…not moving her red eyes fixed on mine. I opened my mouth to speak, sure that she would think I was about to scream, and she cut me off.

"Alright, I'll do it…just keep your voice down and I need you in the cave…now." She hissed.

I gave myself an inner high five as I walked into the cave and turned to face her. The last thing I remember is a lunge, a pop, a muffled scream, and black.

**Please Review…I promise it will be worth while!**


	4. Who are youWho am I?

**Thank you so much to the reviewers and the people adding me to their favorite stories and people that have me on author alert! It makes me so happy, like really you guys are what is keeping me going! **

**A special thanks to Rayven for encouraging me to write and to my beautiful beta Marie Clause! Onward with chapter 4!**

**I own nothing…**

I'm going to take a little break from the story to explain a couple of things to you guys. First the next several chapters are going to pretty difficult for me to write, the change did not go well. I was alone for the majority of my early days, and that allowed me to follow my instincts. I didn't have a lot of practice controlling them and that made it very hard for me to change my ways. Don't worry though; you will get all the gory details about the change in this chapter. The weeks after my change were exciting, but they were also really rough. So bear with me as I try to suffer through all of the terrible times again. Second, you all are probably wondering why Victoria didn't want to change me right then and there, and you probably really want to know why she didn't want me to scream…well if I tell you now…It will ruin the story. You will find out; however it might be a while.

I don't know how long or how quickly I'll be able to get these chapters to you because they are going to take a lot out of me. I know I'm a vampire, and we don't sleep, but still it's going to emotionally drain me, yes we do have emotions

I want to go ahead and warn you that I've done some pretty bad things. I wasn't good, I was really bad actually and I made a lot of mistakes. Many people's lives were ended because of me, and I had little remorse at the time. I killed for the joy of killing and for the desire to quench my blood lust. I took those human lives for very selfish reasons, I didn't even stop and consider the fact that the people I was feeding off of had lives, and for that I will be eternally sorry. But what's done is done and there is nothing I can do that can change the past. It's something that I've learned to deal with.

Now that we've gotten all of that out of the way I'll get back to the story.

You all know that the changing process takes about 3 days, so there is a three day gap in there that I don't really know what happened. Laurent isn't here any more, and I haven't spoken to Victoria in a really long time. So you will just have to accept that there is a 3 day time frame that I have no recollection of.

Alright, well, now to the fun part. I woke up, and I was lying on the dirt floor of a cave. It felt as if I woke up form the deepest, darkest sleep that could ever be imagined. Everything felt new when I woke up, really new actually. I had absolutely no recollection of anyone, I know what you all are thinking, surely I must have remembered someone, like, Oh, I don't know…myself, but nope, I didn't remember anyone, not myself, not anyone I had met while I was human, not ANYONE. I remembered things, I knew I was in a cave, I knew it was outside, and I knew I was lying on dirt…but things were about all I could recall. It was like the moment that I opened my eyes, I had been reborn. I was void of all relationships. I only knew that I had to take care of myself, and that I could trust no one. Oh and I knew that I was unnaturally strong, smart, agile and deadly.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The inside walls of the cave that I was laying in looked so beautiful. They were shining with moisture that had gathered on them, it reminded me of how a diamond sparkles. I crawled over to them and couldn't help but run my hands over the slick cool surface. It was such strange feeling. I got caught up in it for several minuets just running my hands over the smooth stone. I was wondering where I was, who I was, what I was doing here, why my throat was burning, I was full of questions. I kept sliding my hands up and down the hard surface. I wondered how strong I was. I felt really strong, so I decided to test my theory. I dug my fingers into the stone wall it crumpled in my hands, and this made me smile.

The feeling of power that I had knowing that I could make one of the hardest things in existence turn into dust made me feel invincible. I wanted to explore more; I wanted to test my abilities. I wanted to run and see how fast I was, I wanted to drink blood. The thought of blood made my throat burn something fierce. It felt like there was a little fire burning in my neck. I clutched my throat hoping to ease the pain a little, but I knew it wouldn't help, the only comfort I was going to get would be from the thick red liquid flowing into my body, and I hurt for it.

I got up desperate to get out of the cave. I needed to hunt; I wanted to feel the life of something slip away at my hand…the thought of that ultimate power made me giddy with excitement.

The first step I took was another strangely new experience. I felt all of the now overly developed muscles in my thighs flex and release. It was so strange to feel this powerful, but I loved it. As I stepped out of the cave into the fresh mountain air I noticed that it was very dark outside, but I could see just fine. I laughed out loud because everything about being a vampire was so cool. I felt more able bodied than I had ever felt before, and I loved it!

"Where do you think you're going" the voice startled me, I whipped my head around and let out a low guttural growl. My body instinctively crouched into a defensive stance and I readied myself for an attack.

"Woah, Woah…no need to get defensive. I was just bringing you a little snack."

It was then that I smelt it. The most intoxicating scent that had ever passed over my nostrils, it made my venom pool in my mouth. I looked at the large vampire, wondering why he was bringing me food. I didn't know him, what business did he have bothering me? My gut told me not to trust him, and my gut was all I had to go off of at this point.

The vamp dropped the food and began to walk toward me. A warning growl erupted from my chest.

"Easy there champ" he chuckled "no reason to be all up in arms."

"There is a very good reason" my voice startled me as it rang beautifully from my vocal chords. I could feel every vibration that they made, it almost tickled, but I suppressed the giggle remembering what I was doing. "You are standing in between me and my meal…and that is a very bad place for you to be."

I stayed crouched ready to attack if he decided to make a move towards me or the delicious smelling body that lay a couple of feet behind him. He reached a hand out to touch me and whispered "Bella" very softly…that movement, that simple gesture, awoke the beast.

I leapt at him, my strength and speed obviously taking him by surprise. He didn't have a chance to defend himself. I was on him in an instant blindly ripping limbs from the body. His screams for help only fueled the fire that was burning inside of me. I continued to tear at his body, he tried to defend himself, but his attempts were futile. In a matter of moments he was reduced to a pile of body parts. My instincts were telling me to burn the pile, so I dug through the campsite until I found a box of matches.

Striking the match was a beautiful thing, my eyes caught every spark that occurred between the little red match head and the box, and the match seemed to engulf into flames in slow motion. I tore myself away from the beauty of the burning stick and tossed it onto the mangled body.

I watched it burst into flames and then turned my attention to my next victim. I picked up the body that the strange vampire had carried up to me and savored the warmth of his flesh on my hands. He was middle aged, and looked like he had been lost in the woods for days. I didn't care much for his back story I just wanted his blood.

I tilted his head to the side so that I could bite his neck easier. My teeth tore into him so easily; it was almost as if I was biting into an ice cream sandwich. My teeth felt no resistance at all. Shortly after admiring how simple it was to tear into his flesh I got my first taste. It was like the sweetest honey, the richest chocolate, the greasiest burger…enough with the cheesy analogies….it was wonderful. The burn in my throat was quenched, with every pull of blood from the body I felt stronger. I began to feel a glorious high from the life force that was being taken from his body into mine, when my instincts kicked in. I was on high alert. I perked up, blood running out of the corner of my mouth and down my chin, dripping onto my white tank top. I stood up quickly preparing myself for the fight that was to come.

I sensed her to my left so I turned and crouched ready to attack whatever was about to step into the clearing. She was running at me. Her growl almost as deadly as my own, she was quick, but I was quicker. She lunged at me, and I ducked just in time. She landed on her feet about 5 feet away from me and came at me again.

"You BITCH" she screamed as she attempted to punch me, but missed.

I didn't know what her problem was, but I had defiantly done something to upset her.

"Who are you?" I screamed in between ducking and dodging her attacks.

"Don't play dumb. How could you do that to him, we have been trying to help you." The growl erupting from her chest frightened me a bit. I was caught off guard by the malice in the noise, and I caught a right hook to the jaw. A loud pop and a sudden pain brought me back to reality and my instincts took over. I lunged at her grabbing her by the throat and threw her as hard as I could against a large boulder that had been standing near by. The impact shattered the rock and she lay broken on the ground. My breathing was very hard and shallow. I lifted my hand to feel my face and noticed several large cracks that were moist from my venom trying to mend them. She must have hit me harder than I thought.

She started to move, and rather than wait around and see if she was alright I took off running. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew that I did not want to be there when she finally got up. I didn't know what that red head had against me. I had only killed the other vampire in defense…hadn't I? Well, whatever the reason I had for killing him, I liked it. It felt good to have that power over someone. It was intoxicating.

I ran and ran and ran, never getting tired. I ran until the sun came up and decided to stop and watch it. It was really beautiful…It sparked a thought in me, and I looked at my skin. It looked normal. I knew that vampires were supposed to look different in the sun, although I didn't know how I knew that, I just knew. For some reason though, my skin looked just as normal as ever.

"Huh?" I said out loud to myself "I'll have to find someone to ask about that someday, well that is if I can find someone who isn't trying to attack me." This made me laugh, and I just stood in the forest and cracked up…I laughed for a really long time, and then I smelled it. The sweetest smell I was sure I would ever smell again. There was a hunter 3.5 miles to my east, and he smelled decadent.

**Alright, that's chapter 4. I'm going to try really hard to keep a pretty steady pace in posting chapters, but it's almost finals week and I have lots to study for. Reviews encourage me to post faster **** so…review, review, review!**


	5. Remember, Remember

**Sorry it took so long! Finals are going to be brutal! This one is going to have a lot of info in it, I hope you like it. FYI Bella will run into the Cullens in the next chapter! YAY! I know, I'm excited to **** happy readings!**

**Onward with Chapter 5.**

Not much happened for a couple of months after I got changed. This chapter will mostly just be a recap of the highlights of those months, which I will warn you, are few and far between.

Before I get into the chapter I need to apologize. I found the laptop that I'm using to write this story, on one of the hunters that I hunted. Back when I found it, I couldn't think of a better password than the word…well, password. So, needless to say someone hacked into my account and added his two cents.

I won't tell you who it was, but just know that he's a big, hulking, dumb-ass, and his comments will be in bold. I would just go ahead and delete them, but they were too funny to ignore. It also wouldn't do me any good to delete them, because he knows my password and he won't tell me how to change it. I know he would just get back in here and add his comments again if I deleted them, so I'll just let them fly. This time, but he BETTER watch his back! ;)

November~~~~~

Remember, remember the 5th of November. I do remember it, all too well. The 5th of November is the day that I fell in love with the fear that I evoked from my prey.

I was about 5 miles east of a small town in Oregon. I knew that there was a party of hikers somewhere around here because their scent was intoxicating.

I had been hunting them for about 15 min. when I finally saw them. There were 3 men and 2 women. They looked to be about my age.

The smell of their blood caused my mind to go blank and the only thing that I could pay attention to was the burn in my throat. I leapt down from the tree I was crouching in and landed without a sound not far behind them.

I walked along the trail making sure that they didn't detect that I was there. I wanted to surprise them.

One of the girls was walking a little slower than the rest of them, so I decided to pick her off first. She stopped and slid her backpack off of her shoulders.

"You guys go ahead, I'm going to sit and rest for a second." She yelled ahead at the rest of her group before sitting down on the ground and unzipping her backpack.

I decided that I wanted to play with her.

I moved around so that I was standing a little ways behind the tree that she was sitting by. I picked up a small twig and broke it into two pieces. The noise echoed throughout the empty forest and I'm sure it was startling to her small human psyche. She quickly whipped her head around to look in the direction that the noise came from, but I made sure to keep myself out of her line of sight. I slowly approached the girl and made sure to make no noise.

**This is quite a feat for you Bella. I'm surprised that you didn't trip about a million times before you reached the poor girl. **

I was right behind her now, and she was oblivious to me. Her eyes were closed and her head was leaned back against the rough bark of the tree. I bent down so that my face was level with her ear and whispered a very quiet "Hello."

Quick as a flash I moved away knowing that she would turn to see where the voice had came from.

I was enjoying this; I had never before taken time to enjoy my prey. It had always been about feeding to quench the thirst, but this was different. I was having fun with this girl. Her obvious fear was like icing on the cupcake.

**I wish I could remember what icing tasted like. I bet it was good, but it may be why your hips are so big. KIDDING! Don't kill me!**

She was on edge it was easy to tell. She was standing now, her back to the tree. I know she thought she was doing the right thing by protecting her back, but that was going to be her down fall. I grabbed her shoulders and held her to the tree. She froze.

I ran my nose from her collar bone to her ear inhaling the sweet scent of blood tinged with fear.

"Hello, beautiful" I purred. "I bet you'll be tasty" **That's kind of hot.**

I sank my teeth into her neck and drank. I was a sweet victory. I enjoyed the fear that I caused her, and I was sure that playing with my dinner would become a habit after this.

That's what November held for me. It taught me that not only was I a predator…I could be evil as well.

**Trust her when she says this. I've gotten on her bad side once. NOT FUN!**

December~~~~~~

Merry Christmas Darling, I guess you could say I got a gift for Christmas. I discovered that I had a special talent in December. I was having a particularly lonely day on what I am guessing was around two weeks before Christmas.

I had been feeling alone for a while, but it was really bad on this day. I had been feeling that my bloodlust was becoming easier to handle, so I decided that I was going to try to go into the nearest town.

I was scared. I didn't want to be found out. I knew that I wasn't supposed to let people know that I was a vampire, so I had to be very careful.

As I was walking down the street all I could think was, "Don't notice me, don't notice me…" over and over again. I didn't want to draw attention to myself so I just hoped that I would be invisible.

I was so nervous that I completely forgot about my need to drink, it was really refreshing to finally figure out that I could be around people and not want to kill them. I mean, I did want to kill them, but it wasn't so bad that all I wanted to do was kill them.

I noticed that no one and I mean no one made eye contact with me. I even bumped into a couple of people and they didn't even respond when I apologized. It was a little odd, but I didn't think much of it.

I walked into a store. There was a shirt in the window that I wanted to look at. I entered the store still hoping that people wouldn't look at me, and no one did. I grabbed a shirt off of the rack and walked to the dressing room.

I pulled the door closed and looked into the mirror. Keep in mind that this was the first time that I had looked in the mirror since I had been changed, and I looked CRAZY!

My hair was a mess. There were twigs and leaves matted in the brown mess that sat atop my head. My clothes were torn, ripped, and filthy. My face and hands were coated with dirt and my eyes…oh my eyes…they were blood red.

**She doesn't look much better even after taking a shower and brushing her hair. KIDDING, again, please don't kill me!**

I stood shocked, staring at myself. How had people not noticed me? I looked insane. Like, literally INSANE! I threw the curtain open and looked around the store, none of the customers even looked up. What was going on?

I grabbed the shirt and decided to go pay for it. I walked up to the counter still looking at the people in the store shocked that they didn't notice me.

I turned my head to the cashier and she hadn't looked up. My voice came out as a whisper.

"I'd like to buy this" was all I managed to squeak out. I readied myself for her scream, because I knew as soon as she saw me she would scream and then I would have to kill her, and because I had to kill her I would have to kill everyone…and that would be hard to cover up. I just hoped that she wouldn't scream.

She looked up at me and smiled.

"Alright dear, how will you be paying today?"

I was shocked. Was crazy, insane, dirty girl the new style? What was going on? The only thing that I could think of was that the things I was hoping for seemed to be happening. The people didn't notice me when I didn't want to be noticed, and she didn't scream when I didn't want her to scream.

"I umm….forgot my wallet." **Way to go dumb-ass.**

I decided that I was going to test my hypothesis and hope that she would just give the shirt to me for free.

And sure enough…

She picked the shirt up, put it in the bag, and handed it to me.

"Thank you so much, hope to see you again soon."

I ran out the door.

OH MY GOD! I had an ability! I couldn't wait to try it out. I started testing it on people as I walked down the side walk.

A couple I walked passed broke out into a perfect tango. A lady that I saw in a store pulled every pair of jeans off of the display wall and jumped on them, and a guy outside the store ripped his shirt off and yelled "ME ANGRY" while growling and flexing at people.

**Wish I could have seen that.**

It was GLORIOUS. P.S. sorry for all the caps, this part of my story is just intense.

Glorious, yes…but I figured out it made me the perfect killing machine.

I could make anyone follow me into the woods, bend their heads to the side, and beg me to drink from them.

I won't go into details, but I know that from experience.

**Her freakin' ability is way annoying…countless times I've found myself in women's clothing….you'll get yours some day miss Bella…you just wait. **

I played around with my gift for weeks….since I found out that I could successfully be around people without draining every single one of them dry; I went into town more often.

It was also nice that I didn't sparkle in the sunlight, because I could even go out on a sunny day and enjoy how happy sunlight made everyone.

Now, don't think that I've gone soft. I just enjoyed happy people. Every now and again I would make the person I was feeding off of scared. I did this to relish in the feeling of power that it brought me, but more often than not…I made them ecstatic that they were giving their life to me.

**So that's why I've been so happy to rub your back recently…you sneaky she-devil.**

January~~~~~~~~~~

Life on my own was getting easier, but I did crave companionship. I tried a couple times unsuccessfully to make friends with humans, but my mind control seemed to have its limits. When the effects finally wore off and they saw me for what I really was, I had to kill them. That was rough on me.

It normally wasn't too hard to kill a human, but to kill one that I had been trying to become friends made me very sad. I think that is why I stayed at the cabin after killing the Samuel's.

I stumbled upon their house one evening and I just watched them. I saw an older woman carry dinner to the table for her and her husband. They looked so happy as they stared lovingly at each other.

I wanted to be a part of that. I hoped that they would open the door and invite me in. Seconds later, the old woman opened the door and called out for me.

"Vampire honey, come in and join us." I leapt up from my hiding place and dashed for the door. I made it there in seconds and her warm smile made me feel so wanted.

"Come sit on the couch with us, we'll play a board game." I was excited. A board game sounded wonderful.

We played until it was almost 2 in the morning. Mr. Samuel stretched and yawned and I decided it was time to let them get to bed.

They put their arms around each other, wished me goodnight, and walked into their bedroom and shut their door.

I sat on the couch and immediately felt guilty. Soon, they would snap out of it and realize that there was a crazy lady in their house. I could just run away, but they would call the cops and then I would have people looking for me. I couldn't afford for that to happen…so I had to make sure it didn't.

I don't really want to talk about how I killed them…just now it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I lay on the ground at the foot of their bed sobbing, but no tears would come.

"Why do I have to be alone?" I questioned, hoping that God would hear me and send me some answers.

I heard the T.V. in the living room and figured I might as well turn it off before I left the house.

I walked into the living room and my jaw hit the floor.

**She's probably speaking literally….she has got the biggest and foulest mouth I've ever seen. **

There on the screen…was a picture of me, with the words MISSING GIRL underneath.

I ran to the couch and blasted the volume.

"Forks High School Senior Bella Swan has been missing since early October. She was last seen by her father, Charlie Swan, who is the chief of police in the town of Forks. Bella has brown hair, and brown eyes. She is approximately 5'4" tall and weighs 110 lbs. If anyone has any information on the missing girl please call Forks PD…"

I didn't hear the phone number; I was in a state of shock. I now knew who I was….I was Bella Swan, and I had a dad.

For a moment I considered going to Forks and running to him, but then I remembered two vital pieces of information.

1) I was a vampire, and I looked very different from my former self. And 2) I WAS A VAMPIRE…that meant I would want to kill my dad, and I could not let that happen.

Even though I didn't remember a thing about Charlie, I didn't want to hurt him.

I left the house shortly after 4 and I didn't stop running for a very long time.

**She probably didn't get far; she doesn't run nearly as fast as me.**

February~~~~~~

Ah, the month of romance….actually, for the majority of this month I was tied to a chair, but we will get to that in a little bit.

This month is probably the most important…because something very important happened in this month. I was found by the Cullens. It's really Jasper and Emmett's fault. They found me against my will and drug me to the house…but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Now to fully understand why this next thing happened, I'll have to tell you that I stopped feeding after I killed the Samuel's. I felt so guilty after killing them, that I couldn't bring myself to feed off of a human, also the fact that I had a tie to a human made it so much more difficult to kill them.

So out of desperation, I hunted a bear. Now, bear is not easy to kill…and if I was looking for something fun to kill, I would have picked a deer…they are quite enjoyable to chase, but the bear fought back…and kicked the shit out of me but I won.

I do need you to do me a favor and not tell a certain hulking vampire this fact, because I'm trying to convince him that I killed the bear for fun and that it was easy for me to kill the bear. I don't want him to know that the bear ripped one of my arms off.

**HA! I knew you wouldn't have done it just for fun; I'm hurt that you've been lying to me. **

The starvation and the new type of blood made me crazy. Like, crazier than before. I got very paranoid, very territorial, and very violent. I don't know if maybe it was the amount of human blood that I had been ingesting that caused the bad reaction, but something did and I went insane.

I was missing an arm after the little bear encounter and it hurt like a bitch. I didn't know how to reattach it…so I was crazy and in constant pain.

One afternoon I was running as fast as I could for no reason in particular….I just wanted to run, when I heard some crashing sounds to my right, I made a sharp turn and headed in that direction, curious to see what was going on.

I got close enough that I could peak through the trees and almost caught a glimpse of who was standing in the clearing when I was suddenly pinned under a very large rock, and my other arm had become detached.

The scream that wretched out of my throat was one of agony and frustration, I was in an extreme amount of pain, and I was stuck under a rock with no way to lift it off of myself. I hoped that the jerks that threw this on me would at least come and get it off…and sure enough they came running.

**Who do you think she is going to encounter first? Review with you're guess and I'll tell you if you're right. Also if you want more details about Bella's encounters with the humans review and I'll send you some special inside info!**


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